Why Your Past Failures Make You More Qualified [Not Less]
Have you ever found yourself saying, I’m not good enough," or “I can't do this because it didn’t work out before?" If you’ve been telling yourself these stories, I want you to know that you’re not alone—and it’s time to flip that script.
This week on the Powerhouse Lawyers Podcast, I dig into a topic that so many women, especially in the legal profession, struggle with: self-disqualification. The idea that because something didn’t work out in the past, you’re somehow unworthy of future success. It’s a mindset that creeps in subtly, telling us that we don’t have what it takes. But here’s the thing—it’s not true.
My Journey of Self-Disqualification
I’ve walked that path myself. After practicing law for several years, I made the decision to step away from my career to raise my family. But that choice, as empowering as it was, also planted a seed of doubt. When I later considered coaching other female lawyers, I found myself disqualifying my own experiences.
I thought, "I can't help lawyers anymore—I’m not practicing law." I convinced myself that because I had chosen to walk away from my legal career, I had nothing of value to offer the women still working in that field. I believed I was no longer "qualified" to coach female attorneys.
That self-disqualification became a major barrier in my mindset. I wasn’t giving myself the credit for the skills, knowledge, and lessons I’d accumulated over the years. It wasn’t until a coach called me forward [not so subtle shout out to the power of coaching] that I realized how deeply ingrained this limiting belief had become.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
As lawyers, we’re trained to be experts, to know everything, to have all the answers. So when we encounter something we don’t know, it feels daunting. Like something that is “too challenging” to conquer. And what do we do with that feeling? We use it to disqualify ourselves from future success.
“I didn’t succeed before, so I won’t succeed again.”
“I don’t know how to do that, so it’s not for me.”
“I’m not ready because I don’t have all the answers yet.”
Does any of this sound familiar? These lies are often rooted in fear—the fear of failing again, the fear of stepping into the unknown, the fear of being exposed as "not good enough." And that fear can be paralyzing.
Reframing the Narrative: Every Experience is a Stepping Stone
Here’s the truth: You are not disqualified from future success because of past setbacks. Everything you’ve experienced—whether you view it as a success or a failure—is simply part of your journey. Every moment is a stepping stone, an opportunity to learn and gather information for what’s next.
For me, stepping away from the law wasn’t a failure—it was a crucial part of my journey to where I am now. Had I not made that choice, I wouldn’t have discovered my passion for empowering other women. I wouldn’t have built the resilience, the grit, or the perspective that allows me to show up for my clients today.
Stop Disqualifying Yourself: The Path Forward
What if we stopped seeing our past experiences as disqualifications and started viewing them as the preparation we need for future success?
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay, Erin, that sounds great, but how do I stop disqualifying myself?” I hear you. Changing this mindset isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely possible. Here are a few steps you can take:
1. Reframe Your Past Experiences
Start by looking at the experiences you’ve been using to disqualify yourself. Instead of viewing them as failures, ask yourself, “What did I learn from this? How did it prepare me for where I want to go?” Every setback is an opportunity to learn, grow, and move closer to your goals.
2. Get Clear on Your Goals
One of the reasons we disqualify ourselves is because we aren’t clear on what we really want. Take time to define your goals. What do you want in this season of your life? Once you have a clear vision, it’s easier to see past setbacks as stepping stones rather than roadblocks.
3. Take Small, Consistent Actions
Overwhelm is a dream killer. When we get excited about a goal, we often want to leap from where we are to the finish line, and when that doesn’t happen overnight, we give up. Instead, focus on the next best step. You don’t need to have everything figured out—you just need to keep moving forward, one step at a time.
4. Find Accountability
Whether it’s a mentor, a coach, or an accountability partner, having someone in your corner makes all the difference. In fact, research shows that people are over 90% more likely to achieve a goal if they write it down and have an accountability partner. Let someone in on your journey, and let them support you through the tough moments.
5. Invest in Yourself
The most powerful investment you can make is in yourself. Whether it’s through coaching, a mastermind group, or even just a community of like-minded individuals, surrounding yourself with people who can lift you up is critical. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
This brings me to something I’m incredibly passionate about: the power of community combined with coaching. You are far more capable than you give yourself credit for—but sometimes you need someone else to help you see it. That’s why I’m so committed to working with powerhouse women in law—to help them realize their own potential, step out of their comfort zones, and build lives they can’t wait to wake up for.
When I look at the women I’ve had the privilege to coach, I see a pattern: they are women who have spent years disqualifying themselves. They’ve convinced themselves that because they didn’t succeed in one area, they won’t succeed in another. But when they finally step into coaching, when they invest in themselves, they realize just how capable they are. They take back their power, they take action, and they see incredible results.
At the end of the day, my message is this: You are worthy and deserving of a life that feels good to you, simply because you are. It doesn’t matter what’s happened in the past. It doesn’t matter if things didn’t go according to plan. You have the power to redefine your success, to take action, and to create a life that aligns with your values.
If you’ve been sitting on the sidelines, disqualifying yourself before you’ve even tried, I challenge you to stop. Reframe your past, get clear on your goals, and start taking small, consistent steps toward the life you want.
You’re not disqualified from success—you’re just getting started.
If you are ready to take that first step? Let’s connect. Whether it’s through a strategy call, a Powerhouse VIP session, or joining my community of powerhouse women in law, I’m here to support you in building the life and career you deserve.
Erin Gerner is a former lawyer turned coach, entrepreneur, and host of the Powerhouse Lawyers podcast. She helps female lawyers step into their power, break through limiting beliefs, and build lives they can’t wait to wake up for. Learn more about her coaching programs and schedule an obligation free strategy call, connect with her here.
