Unmute Yourself: How to Silence Doubt, Find Your Voice, and Claim Your Seat at the Table
Nancy Medoff was sitting in a meeting when someone asked a question about her sales team.
At the time, she was the Vice President of Global Sales for her company and had three decades of experience in corporate sales leadership. As VP, she was leading a team of a hundred people.
Before she could answer the question, her male colleague stepped in and gave an answer.
“That’s interesting,” Nancy thought. “I thought they were asking about my team, but it’s alright.”
Later on, she was asked a second question, and her male colleague answered again.
The third time it happened, Nancy looked around the table and said,
“I’m so sorry, but am I on mute?”
The leader of the meeting said, “You know what, she’s right. We need to let her talk.”
As the youngest in a family of four, Nancy had learned to speak up. At her house, if you didn’t speak up, you didn’t eat.
But as she was driving home that day, she thought about the millions of women out there who didn’t speak up because they were too afraid or never learned how.
“No more. This is it,” she thought. A few weeks later, she resigned.
Today, Nancy is a speaker, podcaster, author, and coach who helps women overcome “imposter feeling,” claim their seat at the table, and build a bigger table.
(She refuses to call it “imposter syndrome” because no one's being diagnosed with anything. It’s just a feeling, and feelings aren’t facts.)
One thing Nancy’s found from working with female attorneys is even though they’re complete badasses with graduate degrees who have completely earned their seat at the table, they have the same doubts and lack of confidence as anyone else.
It blew her mind.
So she wrote her book for those powerhouses. She wrote it for her nieces and close family members. She wrote it for women who spoke up and nothing ever happened. She wrote it for every woman who needs to know they have a right to speak up and claim their seat at the table.
Here’s what Nancy would say to people wanting to overcome “imposter feeling”:
First of all, everyone experiences this. Men, women, it doesn’t matter. You would be shocked at some of the people who experience this: J-Lo, Beyonce, Jane Fonda, Lady Gaga, Tom Hanks, David Bowie, Howard Schultz (former CEO of Starbucks)... the list goes on.
The difference between men and women is that men do it anyway. They feel uncertain, and they do the thing anyway. Women feel uncertain and they let it hold them back.
Second of all, feelings aren’t facts. You might feel like a failure, but that doesn’t mean you are one. Feel the feeling, but that doesn’t mean it’s true.
If you let feelings become beliefs, that’s where the problem begins. Feelings become beliefs, then beliefs impact behavior, behavior impacts actions, and actions impact outcomes. So you need to understand that it’s just a feeling.
It may come as a shock, but Nancy still gets nervous every time she goes on stage. She’s just used to it being part of the process.
Here are 3 strategies Nancy uses for overcoming imposter feeling:
- Recall - Recall a time when you felt nervous and then nailed it anyway. If you’re advocating for your client and you’re nervous, recall the last time it happened and you were still successful.
- Reframe - Take that nervous energy and turn it into excited energy. If you’re a little nervous and a little excited, focus on the excited part. Excited energy is contagious. If you can create that, you not only overcome your nervousness, but you bring everyone else with you.
- Remind - Remind yourself that feelings are not facts. A lot of times we put feelings of anxiety, fear, or doubt in the imposter syndrome bucket, and we hold ourselves back. It’s a very real feeling, but it’s not something you’re stuck with.
This was a great conversation with Nancy. I love the practical strategies she gave.
People get a lot of flack for saying, “Do it scared.”
But at the end of the day, if you want to be successful and make major moves in your life, you’re going to have to move in spite of being scared and uncomfortable.
But on the other side of that discomfort is major breakthrough, freedom, thriving, and peace.
Talk soon, powerhouse.
Erin
Where to find Nancy:
Book: Unmute Yourself: Speak Up to Stand Out
Podcast: Unmute Yourself, the Podcast
Instagram: @nancy_medoff
Linked In: Nancy Medoff
Website: nancymedoff.com
