Outside Success Didn’t Fix My Internal Confidence Issue (But Here’s What Did)

For years, I was so good at looking powerful on the outside. 

I had been doing all the external stuff. I went to law school, graduated at the top of my class, got a job in biglaw, yada yada. 

On the outside, it looked like I had my shit together. On the inside, I felt completely terrified. 

I didn’t trust myself.

I was afraid of judgment. 

I felt like I had no options. 

I didn’t feel good enough. 

I had a lot of internal work I still needed to do in order to feel confident in myself and my dreams. 

After 7 years of working in law, I left to stay home with my kids. I had no idea who I was outside of being a lawyer. 

Eventually, I hit a real low point. As a family, we were in a financial downward spiral. We almost lost our house. I was thirty pounds overweight, miserable, and feeling like a complete failure. 

I sure as hell did not feel powerful. 

But I knew somewhere deep in my soul that there had to be a different and better way. 

Sometimes you get to a point in your life where you’re so desperate and tired of your own bullshit, you’ll do whatever it takes to change. 

That was me when an unexpected social selling opportunity came knocking at my door. I was so frustrated in one part of my life that another part of me was like, “Maybe this opportunity is the answer.”

It ended up changing my life. 

It wasn’t that it fixed everything right away. But it was a big decision that led to a series of other decisions that brought me where I am today. 

Once I started sharing my story in a community of mentors and like-minded women, I realized I wasn’t the only one who felt the way I did. I discovered personal development. I started meeting with a coach who helped me find out who I was outside of the law and build confidence in myself from the inside out. 

If you resonate with having it together on the outside, but struggling on the inside, I want you to know, you’re not alone. 

A lot of high-achieving women feel this way. 

If it’s not at work for you, it might be in your finances, health, relationships, or spiritual life. Sometimes when we’re achieving at a really high level in one area, other areas get neglected. 

If you know something feels unaligned, but you’re not sure what, I want to give you a little self-assessment.

These 4 questions will help you figure out which areas you feel confident and powerful in and which areas need improvement:

1. When do you feel most powerful? What are you doing? What are you wearing? Who are you with? How are you feeling?
2. When do you step out of your power? Think about what situations, areas of life, environments, or people may cause this reaction, and what does it look like? 
3. What areas of your life need more power? It might be your relationships or your job. Where do you need better boundaries? 
4. What will change when you step more fully back into your power in those specific areas of your life? If money and time aren’t an issue and everything works out, what will change? 

If you’re having trouble answering some of these, it’s okay. That’s normal. 

This September, I’m taking a group of like-minded women in the law to the Miraval Resort in Austin, Texas for a 4-day, in-person experience with other female lawyers who are going to help you dive deep, step back into your power, and walk out of this weekend as the true powerhouse that you are. 

If you don’t have a spot yet, we are all full. So, I need you to get on the waitlist for the next one happening in 2025. 

You owe it to yourself to be in rooms with other women who can resonate with you, but also push you to think bigger so you can level up your legal career. This kind of transformation is totally possible, but it’s not going to happen by yourself. It’s going to happen in community. 

Can’t wait to see you for the next retreat!

 Erin