Bringing the Boardroom Home: Using Your Legal Skills to Strengthen Family Bonds
In the latest episode of the Powerhouse Lawyers Podcast, I had the pleasure of speaking with Michelle Allen, an incredibly insightful attorney who has applied her leadership skills in ways many of us might not consider. Our conversation sparked a powerful realization: the very strategies that make us effective, respected, and successful in our legal careers are the same ones that can transform our personal lives—especially at home.
We’ve all heard the age-old advice: “Leave work at work.” As lawyers, we’re told to shed our professional identities the moment we step through our front doors. But what if some of the most valuable tools in our arsenal are being left at the office, when they could be just as beneficial in nurturing our relationships with our families?
Michelle shared her journey of translating her leadership skills from the courtroom to her home, and the results were transformative. It’s not about bringing home the stress, the late-night work, or the emotional baggage. Instead, it’s about recognizing that the strategies we use to lead our teams, manage conflict, and achieve goals are just as essential in building a strong, intentional partnership with our loved ones.
1. Bringing Intention Home:
At work, we set clear goals, create strategies, and align our teams to achieve them. Why not do the same with our families? Michelle talked about setting up quarterly retreats with her husband, not just to relax, but to realign their shared goals and values. They review their personal and family objectives, create action plans, and hold each other accountable—just like in a business setting. This intentional planning has helped them reconnect and stay aligned, no matter how hectic life gets.
2. Navigating Conflict with Strategy:
As lawyers, we are masters of conflict resolution. Yet, when we argue at home, we often react emotionally rather than strategically. Michelle reminded us that the same techniques we use to de-escalate situations at work can be applied at home. Approaching disagreements with empathy, curiosity, and a desire to understand rather than to win can turn arguments into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.
3. Revisit Your 'Why:
Michelle and her husband took the time to revisit the reasons they chose to be together in the first place. They created a “why statement” for their relationship, much like we do for our careers or businesses. This has become a guiding light for them, especially during challenging times. It’s a reminder of the values and vision they share, helping them stay focused on what truly matters.
4. Drift Control:
We’ve all heard the phrase “drifting apart,” but how often do we actively work to prevent it? In business, we have systems to keep projects on track. At home, we need similar systems to keep our relationships aligned. Regular check-ins, honest conversations, and small, intentional actions can prevent that gradual drift that so often leads to disconnection.
5. Resilience and Renewal:
Every relationship faces challenges. The key is resilience—not just in bouncing back, but in continually renewing our commitment to each other. Michelle emphasizes the importance of recognizing the phases in a relationship, from the honeymoon stage to the choice stage, where you actively decide to grow together or risk drifting apart. It’s in these moments of choice that the real work—and the real rewards—of a partnership are found.
We often compartmentalize our lives, believing that the person we are at work is fundamentally different from the person we are at home. But the truth is, the skills that make us successful in the courtroom—strategic thinking, effective communication, empathy, resilience—are exactly what we need to thrive in our personal lives.
So, if you’ve ever felt like you’re struggling to balance your powerful professional self with your personal life, remember this: you don’t have to choose. Bring the best of who you are to every part of your life. Use your legal skills to strengthen your relationships, align your family’s goals, and build the life you truly want. You’ve already got everything you need.
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to take a step back and think about how you can apply your powerhouse skills at home. Start with a simple conversation, set a few goals, or maybe even plan your own mini-retreat. You’ll be amazed at the impact these small actions can have.
Let’s redefine what it means to be a powerhouse—at work, at home, and in every aspect of our lives.
About the Author: Erin, founder of Powerhouse Lawyers, is passionate about creating spaces where women lawyers feel empowered to create lives and careers they love. Through her podcast, retreats, and coaching programs, she is dedicated to helping female attorneys connect, collaborate, and elevate each other in their journeys. Connect with her here.
CONNECT with Michelle:
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-keesling-allen/
Newsletter:
https://partnershippulse.beehiiv.com/
Ultimate Partner Retreat Packing List:
https://partnershippulse.beehiiv.com/c/lead-partner-retreat-packing-list
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